Thursday, January 30, 2014

cigars on ice


I'm starved for flowers up here at the farm where it's a frozen wasteland. I'm not good at waiting, and I don't like planning, so I'm not romantically poised over seed catalogs by a woodstove. I am, however, getting busy getting in touch with my true authentic self. Which, yes, I just had to google to be sure thats the right thing to call it. Also, I drink tea now. 



Eric made me watch some of the Grammys. It's an awards show for music. Everyone was there! Carol King! Willie Nelson! Beyonce and Jay were there too and they performed together. Here is a video. I think Beyonce is her true authentic self. And I want my authentic self to look like her authentic self which is to say more feminine and dressed in less carhartt. I ask Eric, "Can we be a power couple like Bey and Jay?"


I've been very social at the farm this week talking to lots of friends and farmers. These conversations are enlightening and make me motivated. One of my friends - a new friend - is very grounded and seems very spiritually connected to nature. She is a healer. She gave me some roots to steep in milk and drink. I read somewhere that often your authentic self becomes repressed. I figured I repressed the shit out of my authentic self by always trying to be successful more than anything else. And I figure this could be the root of my anxiety and unease. We discussed this briefly, and I realized some of what I need to do to practice loosening up and being more playful. Which sounds so dreadful to me because I've always like very adult things, and being an adult. When I was a kid I remember feeling offended or embarrassed when someone would say that I was 'playing' because in my mind these activities were 'fixing' or 'organizing' or 'preparing for the apocalypse.' 


What started out as a post about dutch masters and our teaching pursuits at Little Flower School became another self indulge. Whoops! I seem to be good at that lately. Now that I've told you about how fun I am, perhaps you'd like to take some classes with me (!)

We're teaching again, Nicolette and I - theres still some spots in our Dutch Masters Class February 23rd. All these photos are from last years session. We hold this special workshop at the Metropolitan Building which is brimming with beautiful old antiques and divine light. I think this will be the last Dutch Masters class we teach. Which I feel good about since I'm excited about some new things and changes we're making to school. We can't do the same thing forever. (Also a few spots left in the workshop at Schreiners Iris Farm south of Portland, Oregon May 21st.)


15 comments:

LPC said...

I think I could listen to you talk and look at your pictures forever and ever. I understand that makes me somewhat of a slavish fangirl but so be it.

Gong xi fa cai!

laura said...

In third grade, a fellow student told me i was like "an adult in a kid's body." i took this as a super big compliment. she probably meant i was kinda lame. but this post made me laugh cuz i know JUST WHAT YOU MEAN about seriousness and adulthood. maybe i need to chat with your healer.

Shelley said...

You are authentically very funny, among other things.

count buckula said...

haha I can relate

btw Kristy's pregnant

addie said...

Love the self posts! You'd probably really enjoy listening to Brene Brown's "The Power of Vulnerability" audio learning course on one of your drives from the city to the farm or vise versa. Sounds terrible, but is honestly really interesting stuff and she's fun to listen to.

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Alison said...

OMG.I just posted on my blog about living authentically , after just having visited a healer.... is this super cool???? or does it just retract from our own experiences making them..... i dont know???? not so cool???

With love x
A

edi gardner said...
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Send Flowers to Chennai said...

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dd said...

always look forward to your post - the whole farm thing blows me away and your writing style is very entertaining - the pictures and arrangements are truly works of art - you definitely need to do a book sooner rather than later because you will never be done with all your chores so you can't wait until then...

eventplanner5 said...

Amazing images. All of them look so lively.

Flori said...

Interesting stuff, lol. and funny indeed. :))

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